Paint by number
For as long as I can remember, I have seen life as art; ebbs and flow of color and emotion decorate this earth. We are made by love, for love, to love. Music is evidence of this to me. We create. We make messes and mistakes. But in the end, those mistakes become an important part of who we are and the mark we leave on the world.
Today I noticed that over the past 5 years I have continued to view the lives as those around me as blank canvases. I see individuals as artists, with limitless potential and possibility, but I have refused to give my self the same privilege. I've turned my life into a paint by number. Meticulously planned to "perfection." Each area of my life has a plan, each plan has many steps that progressively make a work of art, if executed correctly. Because that's how art works, right?
Sometimes in life, I accidentally color blue where there should be green and then, instead of appreciating the beauty and potential, I do what any seven year old would do. I color green on top, I try to make my mistake unnoticeable, but in all honesty I am never successful. I take a step back and get frustrated that it doesn't look like I wanted it to. I look at it and all I can see is the discolored portions.
Who I am isn't defined by what my life was "supposed" to look like. It's defined by my choices.
I have made some stupid decisions and I am not going to lie and say that they weren't. They were dumb. I can't change that. But I am done focusing on my less than perfect choices. They did more than make me who I am, they got me to where I am. Where I am is a masterpiece in it of itself.
Today I noticed that over the past 5 years I have continued to view the lives as those around me as blank canvases. I see individuals as artists, with limitless potential and possibility, but I have refused to give my self the same privilege. I've turned my life into a paint by number. Meticulously planned to "perfection." Each area of my life has a plan, each plan has many steps that progressively make a work of art, if executed correctly. Because that's how art works, right?
Sometimes in life, I accidentally color blue where there should be green and then, instead of appreciating the beauty and potential, I do what any seven year old would do. I color green on top, I try to make my mistake unnoticeable, but in all honesty I am never successful. I take a step back and get frustrated that it doesn't look like I wanted it to. I look at it and all I can see is the discolored portions.
Who I am isn't defined by what my life was "supposed" to look like. It's defined by my choices.
I have made some stupid decisions and I am not going to lie and say that they weren't. They were dumb. I can't change that. But I am done focusing on my less than perfect choices. They did more than make me who I am, they got me to where I am. Where I am is a masterpiece in it of itself.
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